The Saddest Death
by Spamano-Productions
Summary: Kaoru finds himself alone now that is brother is gone...all because of him and how weak he was...It's all his fault and he can never forgive himself.


Ouran Fan-Fic

I don't even know how it happened…I honestly don't. I always knew he was the stronger one…The more athletic, and hell, even though we were identical, he probably looked better than I did. So I don't understand.

Thinking back, I remember the smiles we used to share, the laughs, the emotions, touches…love. The brotherly love we shared was more than enough to make a room full of girls scream out in pleasure, even though our act wasn't real; the key word there being "Act".

So why would he do something so reckless to save someone like me? I just didn't understand it.

"_Hey Kaoru, would you like to get some commoner's coffee with me today? I figure maybe we can see Haruhi at the commoner supermarket, since she is a commoner and all!" _

_Then the ginger boy would laugh and sling his arm over my shoulders. His head would face me and I would laugh along with him; his humor being one of his best aspects. _

Hikaru was always cheering me up. It was like that one time…:

"_Hikaru," I would come up slowly behind my twin, hand tugging on the back of his sleeve. I sniffled quite a bit because of a cold I was getting over; Hikaru had been my care taker the entire time._

"_What is it Kaoru? Are you alright?" Hikaru would always show that kind side of his to me. Never would he yell or call me names like some other siblings did. He was always so polite._

"_Could you walk me to my class today? There are some kids who pick on me,"_

_Hikaru would grab my face and stare at me seriously, his eyes hard and angry as they gazed at mine._

"_Who? Who has?" _

After that, when Hikaru beat up the bully, nobody wanted to mess with us. We felt like we were invincible. We were inseparable. I thought, at least.

I staggered into the room we used to share, the tears falling down my cheeks at a nonstop rate. They just kept coming… Why couldn't he be here right now to comfort me?

Well, I guess if he were here, I wouldn't be acting like such a baby.

"Kaoru," I heard a voice call from outside my door. It was likely the maid, but I didn't respond. Instead, I took off my shoe and threw it at the closed door in anger. I didn't want to speak or see anyone right now. I could see her expression. She probably jumped in surprise and hurried off to do laundry or something.

To be honest, I didn't want anyone's sympathy. I wanted to spend the rest of my life alone in this forgotten room, where we once slept together on that cold bed.

"_It was just an accident, don't be mad at yourself," _I could almost hear him say those words.

Kaoru stood up in a fit and picked up his shoe, slamming it into the wall over and over again. What else could he do to get his anger out? He didn't want to hurt anyone, and he sure as hell didn't want to cry, even though that's exactly what he was doing as he stood here with his shoe.

"_I'll always love you,"_

"No you won't! You won't damn it because you're dead!" Kaoru screamed. He must have already gone insane. Never again would his life be the same! He might as well die. His other half did.

It was all just an accident too… Just one stupid accident.

"_Look at you… You're all muddy," Hikaru got down on one knee in front of me, his eyes tender and sweet as he rubbed the dirt off my knees. _

_We were at Ouran, playing a baseball game for the ladies as a present for their splendid behavior all week, which we all knew had to do with Kyouya wanting to make more money._

_I had slid to get to home base, and Hikaru, being the catcher, saw me make my epic move and stay safe as I scored a run, but my bare knees got scratched and cut against the tough sand._

_He stood up and helped me stand, watching a small amount of blood trickle down each knee cap. He wiped the dirty blood on his shirt and then stood back up, kissing my forehead and sending me on my way to sit in the dug out._

_The girl's all went crazy. They enjoyed our homosexual act. _

"_Kaoru! We need you back out here!" Hikaru called, waving me over._

_Lately, there had been this guy that was picking on me, and at the worst possible time, he walked onto our field and I could feel my heart drop in my chest._

"_Hey fag," He spoke in a muscled tone, acting like he was better than I was._

_Hikaru's eyes darted back and forth from me to him, knowing he was going to have to step in._

_My eyes got teary, wanting to tell him that I didn't –actually- like men, but that would be useless. He would accuse me of being a baby, or some other petty remark that would most definitely hurt my feelings since I was so sensitive._

"_Hey, we're playing a game right now, so if you wouldn't mind leaving, that would be great," Hikaru stepped between the guy and me, holding a baseball bat in his hand._

_The guy grinned, "Ah, the fag's boyfriend. You must be the man in the relationship, though, you both look the same; scrawny, pathetic and nothing more than a maggot on this world. People like you should be removed off this planet!"_

_Even though his crappy excuse for a being stood on the other side of my brother, I still wanted to cry. Tono walked up to the three of us and waved the guy away with his hand, as if shooing him. "Please leave,"_

_The guy turned to Tamaki and spit on the ground in front of him, "Get lost pretty boy,"_

_Tamaki backed up slightly, insulted by his tone, "I was being polite, but if you're going to be rude, then I'll be forced to kick you out,"_

_The rest of the host club was drawing near…this all happened so suddenly…_

_The guy turned around, stole the baseball bat from Hikaru's hand and swung at my head._

_Hikaru didn't let it hit me. The swing clashed against his head, and that was it. He didn't even have a fighting chance. He laid helplessly on the ground, blood soaking the dirt underneath him._

_My eyes widened. I could only stand there in awe._

_The guy turned and ran, not daring to stay and pay for his mistake._

_No words came into the air, only action. Tono called the ambulance, The rest of the host club got the girls home safely. And I stayed right where I was, no tears. I couldn't even think straight. _

_What…the…Hell._

Chapter 1- Losing it

I think I'm losing it. I swear, I think I'm really losing it.

Just nothing was right. Especially when I woke up that next morning after the incident…and Hikaru wasn't there next to me.

When my eyes opened to the morning light being drawn in behind the shades on the window, that's when I broke into tears.

The maid's stared at me with pity, wanting nothing more than to comfort me, but knowing there was nothing they could do.

"Why did you have to protect me? You're so stupid!" I shouted into the air loudly, knowing that my brother was nothing of the sort, I was just angry that I had to lose the one thing that meant the world to me.

"Get out," I said simply. The maid's both curtsied in unison and rushed out as quickly as they possibly could.

"What do I do now…?" I asked myself quietly.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, crawling over to it. The mirror was broken, useless, sitting on the ground. I remember I had refused to let the maid's touch it once it had fallen and broken on the floor. They wanted to throw it away…But I knew I would need it…

At a time like this, I needed comfort from myself…

My fingers slid down the mirror, leaving smear marks down it. My face looked as if someone had punched it. It was swollen. I hadn't stopped crying since the accident. Even in my sleep, I found myself crying.

"Why won't you come back to me…? Why won't you wake back up," I whispered, scratching my face with my fingernails.


End file.
